Tale #1: How Dancing Bear Learned to Dance

Once upon a time, a big lady bear lived in her cave in the forest. At first she enjoyed eating alone and sleeping alone and playing alone. Later, she became lonely. She went into town to see what she could find. At first, people were afraid of her. But when they saw how nice she was, they started feeding her coffee bread and other treats.

One day, a friend said to her, "There is line dancing at the Legion every Friday afternoon. Why don't you come along? It only costs a dollar for a lesson."

The lady bear happened to have a dollar tucked behind her ear, so she went to dance class. She enjoyed it so much that she started going every week and became a good dancer. That is how she came to be known as Dancing Bear.

One of Dancing Bear's friends was a teacher. She said, "Please visit my class and tell some stories." And that is what Dancing Bear did. Her stories were so good that she got a job with a magazine called Spellbound. The magazine isn't being published any more, but Dancing Bear is still telling stories.

Tale #2 Getting Ready to Hibernate

One evening, Dancing Bear was at the Legion for a dinner. The ladies served ham and perogies and chicken and fried rice and potatoes and carrots and mashed Finnish-style turnips and all kinds of salads and desserts. Dancing Bear went back for seconds. Then she went back for thirds, and took two desserts as well.

"Wow!" said one of the boys, named Ben. "You sure are eating a lot!"

"I have to," Dancing Bear said. "I'm getting ready to hibernate."

"Hibernate?" Ben asked. "What's that?"

"I sleep all winter," Dancing Bear explained. "I don't eat when I sleep. When spring comes, I'll be thin."

One of the ladies said, "That sounds great! I'd love to lose weight in my sleep!"

"Do you have a bed in your cave?" Ben's big sister Carol asked.

"No, I don't," Dancing Bear said. "I gather a lot of spruce branches and sleep on them."

"That's a good idea," Ben said. "Maybe I'll try that some time."

"Do you have a sleeping bag?" Carol asked.

"I don't need one," Dancing Bear said. "I have a fur coat."

Carol ran to her mother and talked to her. Then she went to the coat hangers and got her scarf. "Here, Dancing Bear," Carol said. "You can have my scarf to keep your ears warm while you are sleeping."

Dancing Bear looked at the scarf. It was bright red with white stripes. "It's very pretty," she said. "I can't take it. You will need it for yourself when the weather is cold."

"Mom says it's okay," Carol said. "She is going to teach me how to knit. Then I can make myself a new scarf."

"Thank you very much," Dancing Bear said. She put the scarf around her neck right away, even though it was very warm in the Legion hall.

"Wear it all the time," Ben advised. "Then everyone will know that we are your friends."

Tale #3: Felis domestica

One day, Dancing Bear was walking down Alexandra Street. She saw a black and white animal. "Hello," she asked politely. "Are you a skunk?"

"No," the animal said. "I am a felis domestica. That's Latin for house cat."

"That's interesting," Dancing Bear said. "There are no cats like you in the forest."

"Of course not," the cat said impatiently. "That's why I'm called a house cat. I live in a house."

"What do you do there?" Dancing Bear asked.

"I catch mice," the cat said. "I watch the world go round and make sure everything is going as it should."

"That sounds like a very important job," Dancing Bear said.

"It certainly is!" the cat said, stretching herself. "Didn't you know? Cats rule the world."

Tale #4: Oreo

The next time Dancing Bear was walking on Alexandra Street, she met the same black and white cat. "Nice to see you again," Dancing Bear said. "Do you have a name?"

"My name is Lady Miranda Pulcherrima," the cat said. "That's Latin for incredibly gorgeous. But most people call me Oreo."

"Your Latin name is very impressive," Dancing Bear said. "How did you get it?"

"I gave it to myself," Oreo said.

"Why do people call you Oreo?" Dancing Bear asked. "Is it because you are black and white like the cookie?"

"I think they aren't clever enough to remember my real name," Oreo said. "Often, they don't understand my instructions, even though I repeat them over and over."

"I have a Latin name too," Dancing Bear said. "Ursus arctos*. But I don't like it, because I am ursa -- a lady bear. I prefer ursa saliens**."

"Have you noticed that Latin is going out of style?" Oreo said.

"Yes," said Dancing Bear. "It's a pity. Maybe you and I could speak Latin to each other."

"Quid pro quo***," said Oreo. "Would you like to stay at my house for a while? We have an extra bed."

"Wouldn't your people object?" Dancing Bear asked.

"I have just one man servant," Oreo said. "When he's at home he's always busy on the computer or watching TV or sleeping. He might not even notice you."

"I'm rather big to overlook," Dancing Bear said.

"Well, maybe he's lonely. You speak human, don't you? You could talk to him. And you could open and close doors for me when he's sleeping."

"We could give it a try," Dancing Bear said. "It might be safer to stay in town during the hunting season."

* * *

LATIN GLOSSARY
*ursus arctos -- grizzly bear
**ursa saliens -- jumping (or dancing) lady bear
***quid pro quo -- a trade

Tale #5: David McDougall

Dancing Bear and Oreo walked down Alexandra Street together until they came to a house with the number 906 on it.

"That's my place," Oreo said.

"It looks like a nice cozy house," Dancing Bear said. She started to walk down the driveway.

"Hey! Where are you going?" Oreo said.

"I'm going to the back door."

"I always use the front door," Oreo said. "The front door is for important people like me."

She leaped lightly onto the front porch. Dancing Bear followed her up the six steps one at a time: thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, THUMP.

"Ring the door bell," Oreo commanded.

"Are you sure it's okay?" Dancing Bear asked. "I don't want to be rude."

"Just do it," Oreo said.

Dancing Bear rang the door bell. She could hear the bell playing a little tune inside the house. Nobody answered.

"I think I'd better try again later," Dancing Bear said.

"Try again now," Oreo said. "I want to go in."

Dancing Bear was getting very nervous about the whole thing. What if Oreo's person didn't like her? What if he was sleeping or taking a shower?

The door opened. A tall man with a beard looked out. Dancing Bear had never seen him before.

"Finally!" Oreo said. She slipped inside the house, leaving Dancing Bear standing alone on the front porch.

"Hello," Dancing Bear said. "My name is Dancing Bear. Oreo invited me to visit. Is that okay with you?"

The man peered at her. "Oh yes," he said. "I've heard about you. You're that story-telling bear. My name is David McDougall, but you can call me Doug. Come on in."

Tale #6: Brush me!

Dancing Bear followed David McDougall into the living room. The walls were a lovely blue colour, and the floor had light brown carpet on it.

"This is much nicer than my cave," Dancing Bear said.

"Thank you," David McDougall said. "Have a seat. That rocking chair is comfortable. Would you like some coffee? Or maybe some hot chocolate?"

Dancing Bear's mouth watered. "Some hot chocolate would be nice."

"I'll put on the kettle," David McDougall said. He went through the dining room into the kitchen.

Dancing Bear sat down in the rocking chair and started to rock. It creaked loudly. "Oh dear," she said. "I hope it can hold my weight."

Oreo appeared from the direction of the kitchen and jumped onto the footstool in front of Dancing Bear. "I've had my snack," Oreo said, licking her paw and wiping it over her face. "Now it's time to brush me."

David McDougall came back and sat down in his big green and blue chair. "It will take a few minutes for the water to heat up," he said.

"Brush me NOW! Please!!" Oreo said loudly.

Dancing Bear looked around, but she didn't see a brush. "Doug -- Oreo wants to be brushed," she said. "Can you tell me where her brush is?"

David McDougall handed her a soft plastic brush shaped like a cat. As soon as Dancing Bear touched Oreo, she started to purr. She lay down on her side and moaned, "More! More!"

"She really likes being brushed, doesn't she?" Dancing Bear said. She kept brushing and brushing until David McDougall brought her a big pottery mug of hot chocolate.

"More! More!" Oreo insisted.

"You'll have to wait a while," Dancing Bear said. "I'm on my break now."

"Can you understand what Oreo is saying?" David McDougall asked.

"Of course," Dancing Bear said. "I can understand most animals and some humans."

"That's interesting," David McDougall said. "How did you learn so many languages? Did you go to school?"

"No," said Dancing Bear. "It just came naturally. I wanted to speak, so I did."

"Really?" said David McDougall. "I wish I could speak more than one language."

"Why don't you?" Dancing Bear said.

"I'm a busy man," David McDougall said. "It's hard for me to find time to go to class."

"I could teach you some cat language," Dancing Bear said.

"That's a great idea!" Oreo said. "If he understands cat language, it will be easier for me to tell him what I want."

Tale #7: Voulez-vous acheter des oranges?

The front door bell rang. David McDougall went to answer it.

"I guess another important person has arrived," Dancing Bear said, putting down her hot chocolate. "I wonder who it is."

"Never mind," Oreo said. "Just brush me!"

"I'm still on my break," Dancing Bear said.

Two teen-aged girls were at the door. "Voulez-vous acheter des oranges?" they asked.

"Just a moment," Doug said. He called to Dancing Bear, "Do you know any French? I need help."

Dancing Bear got up and went to the door to talk to the girls. "They are from the high school," she explained to Doug. "They are selling oranges and grapefruit to raise funds for the Pastoral Committee. Twenty-five dollars for a small box, or forty dollars for a large one. As soon as they are picked, they will be sent directly from Florida by truck. They will be fresh and juicy."

"All right," said Doug. "I'll take a small box of oranges and a small box of grapefruit. Do I have to pay for them right away?"

"No," said Dancing Bear. "They will phone you when the fruit arrives. You can pay for it when you pick it up at the school."

Dancing Bear helped the girls fill out the order form in English. They were very happy to get an order for two boxes.

"Thank you for your help," David McDougall said after the girls had left.

"No problem," Dancing Bear said. "Where would you like me to put your receipt?"

"Just stick it on the fridge with a magnet," David McDougall said. "That way I won't lose it."

Dancing Bear went into the kitchen. It was bright green, like the forest in the early spring time. The fridge was covered with all kinds of notes.

"There is no room on the fridge," Dancing Bear called. "I don't know what to do."

David McDougall came into the kitchen. "Sorry," he said. He took down three pieces of paper and jammed them in his pants pocket. "Now you have room."

"Are those pieces of paper garbage?" Dancing Bear said.

"Yes," David MrDougall said. "I don't need them any more."

"Give them to me," Dancing Bear said. "I'll put them in the garbage. If you put your pants in the washing machine with paper in the pocket, it will be a big mess."
"You're right," David McDougall said. He took the papers out of his pocket and handed them to Dancing Bear, along with a couple of candy wrappers and some used tissues. "Thank you."

Dancing Bear put everything into the garbage, washed her hands in the bathroom, and went back to her chair to finish her hot chocolate.

"You are very helpful," David McDougall said. "I was wondering if you would stay for a couple of days. I am going away to a conference in Sault Ste Marie, and I know the cats don't like being left alone."

Tale #8: Bandit

"Cats!" Dancing Bear exclaimed. "Do you have more than one?"

"Yes," David McDougall answered. "Two cats live here. The other one is named Bandit. I'm surprised he hasn't made an appearance. He's very friendly, and loves to investigate new people."

"Bandit is a young whippersnapper," Oreo said. "Don't pay any attention to him."

"Hmmm," said Dancing Bear. "Is he your brother?"

"NO," Oreo said. "He just showed up one day. I told him to go away. But David McDougall thought he was cute."

"I AM CUTE," a new voice said. A very large, fluffy black tabby cat with a white chest walked into the living room, waving his tail like a flag. "I AM THE BEST-LOOKING PUSSYCAT IN THE WHOLE WORLD!"

"Hello, Bandit," David McDougall said. "Come and meet our guest, Dancing Bear."

Bandit jumped up on Dancing Bear's lap. He put his paws on her chest and said, "Hello. Here I am. Pet me. I'm cute and intelligent and adorable."

"Ignore him," Oreo said. "He's just a young whippersnapper."

"Am not!" Bandit said.

"Are too!" Oreo said, and tried to climb onto Dancing Bear's lap beside him.

"Take it easy!" Dancing Bear said, laughing. "One at a time, please!"

"You haven't finished brushing me," Oreo complained. "Isn't your break over now?"

"She's just jealous because I grew up to be bigger than her," Bandit said, pushing Oreo back onto the stool. "I weigh over eight kilos, and she just weighs five. She can't bully me any more."

"What are they saying?" David McDougall asked.

"They're arguing about who is better," Dancing Bear said. "Oreo is older, but Bandit weighs more."

"How old are you?" David McDougall asked.

"I've hibernated seventeen times," Dancing Bear said. "Is that old?"

"You're three years older than Oreo, and you weigh more than both of them put together," David McDougall said. "So you must be the best animal in the house."

Tale # 9: Hallowe'en at 906 Alexandra

"Look at the moon!" Bandit said. He was lying on the back of the couch, looking out the window. "Just perfect for Hallowe'en!"

The porch light was on. A big bowl of Hallowe'en treats was ready inside the door -- Smarties and chocolate bars and little plastic bags full of gummy dinosaurs. Dancing Bear and the cats were in the living room, waiting for trick-or-treaters. Doug was away in Sault Ste Marie.

"Would you like to watch TV?" Dancing Bear asked.

"I'd rather hear a story," Oreo said.

"Me too," Bandit said. "Do you know any stories about ghost cats?"

"I know a story about a goblin cat," Dancing Bear said. "Will that do?"

"Let's hear it," Oreo said, swishing her tail.

"Once upon a time in ancient Japan, Prince Ruiten lived in his palace with his beautiful wife Princess O Toyo. Every evening, they would take a walk through the gardens and smell the lovely flowers. One evening a little grey cat followed them and sneaked into the palace. Nobody noticed the animal crouching in a corner of the bedroom. It looked just like a shadow."

"Yes," said Oreo. "Cats are very good at being invisible."

"Ruiten and O Toyo went to bed and fell asleep. O Toyo dreamed that a giant cat was standing on its hind legs beside the bed, ready to strangle her. It was a goblin cat with fierce yellow eyes and horrible fangs, as big as a person. O Toyo tried to scream, but no sound came from her throat. When she woke up, she discovered that her husband had the same dream.

"The nightmares continued night after night. They were so terrifying that the prince and princess became very ill.

"The doctor suspected that an evil spirit was at work. He ordered a hundred soldiers to keep watch in the bedroom. But no matter how hard they tried, they could not stay awake. They fell asleep and had the same nightmares as the prince and princess."

"They should have made some strong coffee," Bandit said.

"They didn't have coffee in ancient Japan," Oreo said.

"Are you sure, or are you just making that up?" Bandit asked.

"I know everything," Oreo said.

"Do you want to hear the rest of the story?" Dancing Bear said. "You are getting on my nerves with all your bickering!"

"Okay," Bandit said. "I'll shut up."

"Please continue," Oreo said.

"All right," Dancing Bear said. "Just when it seemed that the nightmares would never end, a young soldier named Ito Soda had an idea. He offered to keep watch over his master and mistress. Whenever he started to drop off to sleep, he poked himself with his dagger. He managed to stay awake. Nothing unusual happened. Ruiten and O Toyo slept peacefully with no nightmares. In the morning, they felt much better and asked Ito Soda to come back the next night.

"The next night, exactly the same thing happened. The third night, Ito Soda pretended to fall asleep, and kept his eyes open just a slit so he could see what was going on. At midnight, the goblin cat appeared and started casting an evil spell. Ito Soda jumped up with his dagger in his hand, yelling as loudly as he could. The goblin cat fought back fiercely. All the other soldiers came rushing into the room with their weapons drawn. The goblin cat turned back into a little grey cat, ran between their legs, and got away. Ruiten and O Toyo lived to a ripe old age with no more nightmares, but they never forgot the goblin cat."

"Do you think there is such a thing as a goblin cat?" Oreo asked.

"I thought you knew everything!" Bandit muttered.

"Maybe there are goblin cats in Japan," Dancing Bear said, "but I've never heard of one in North America."

"That's good," Oreo said.

"Did the clever soldier get a big reward?" Bandit asked.

Before Dancing Bear had time to answer, there was a lot of thumping on the porch.

"I wonder if that's a goblin cat," Bandit said. He jumped off the couch and ran to the door to investigate.

Dancing Bear opened the door. "Trick or treat!" somebody yelled.

"Well -- is it?" Oreo yelled. "Is it a goblin cat?"

"No," Bandit said. "These are friends of mine. They are wearing costumes, but I can tell who they are by their smell." He went out onto the porch to say hello.

The tall boy in a skeleton suit and the two little girls in ballerina tutus petted Bandit while Dancing Bear handed out the treats.

"Wow! What a great costume!" the boy said to Dancing Bear.

"I'm going to stay out on the porch and watch for more visitors," Bandit said.

Dancing Bear closed the door. She went back to her chair and started chewing on a chocolate bar.

"Why did the boy say I have a great costume?" Dancing Bear asked Oreo. "I'm not wearing a costume."

"Humans are funny," Oreo said. "I'll never understand them."

Tale #10 -- November Snow

It was 3:30 in the afternoon.

"Please open the door," Bandit said to Dancing Bear. "The children will be coming any minute."

Bandit's special friends always stopped at 906 Alexandra on the way home from school to pet him and rub his tummy. He watched for them from the porch. When he saw somebody he liked, he would run to the sidewalk and lie down on his back right in front of that person. Bandit was never easy to ignore! He knew what he wanted and he knew how to get it.

Dancing Bear opened the door. "Oh, no!" Bandit said. "That white stuff again!"

"You have to expect snow on All Saints' Day," Oreo said. "It's almost winter."

"What's All Saints' Day?" Bandit asked.

"It's the day after Hallowe'en," Oreo told him.

"I know that," said Bandit. "But what are saints, and why do they need a day?"

Oreo didn't know the answer, so she pretended to be very busy licking her shoulder.

"Are you going out?" Dancing Bear asked. "I don't want to stand here all day."

"Why do we have snow?" Bandit said.

"It covers the grass and the plants in the winter and keeps them warm," Dancing Bear said. "I like it."

"How can something so cold keep things warm?" Bandit asked.

"It's not so bad," Dancing Bear said. "You're wearing a fur coat."

"But I don't have boots," Bandit complained. "My feet are always cold."

"You'll get used to it," Dancing Bear said. She gently pushed Bandit outside with her foot and closed the door behind him.

"At last! Now we can have a little peace and quiet around here," Oreo said. "That young whippersnapper is always full of questions."